Timeless “Overheards”


Not slow on the uptake at all, the Mules recently launched their Overheard page on FB. After a strenuous selection process, here are some of the best “Overheards” that the ‘Cac has to offer…                                                               

Bowdoin

Drunk guy puking in the trash can: Give me more beer, bro.

 Guy 1: I don’t think it’s possible to make Anne Frank funny.
Guy 2: Why, because she was blind?
Pause.
Guy 1: God, you’re dumb.

Guy 1: Can you go to hell for something you don’t do on purpose?
Guy 2: Depends. Give me an example.
Guy 1: Last night I had a homoerotic dream about Jesus.
Guy 2: Yes.

Girl, holding up Obama sign: Hi, would you like a sticker?
Old Woman: I am sorry that you support this delusional young man.

 Wesleyan

Professor: Is there anyone here from a bad state?
Girl: New Jersey?
Professor: Yeah, that’ll work.

Bates

Dude on phone: Yo, that sounds sweet, but what kind of rice pudding are we talking about here?

Athlete in tears: I am sorry… I just have one question… why am I not the best player in the world?

Boy: I mean c’mon… She’s got the common sense of an acorn.

Tufts

Very serious phone conversation: “Can you Dougie? [pause] No, I can teach you, cause I know how.”

Girl: “Ohhh, so you DID sleep with your professor. OK.”

Student 1: My mom watered my brother’s weed plant when he went to Israel

Student 2:  Knowingly?

Student 1: Yeah

Student 2:  What an idiot! Why?

Student 1: She said, “He doesn’t usually care this much about things.”

Student 2: So illegal

Wishful thinker:  well i had a twosome, and that’s almost a threesome…

 

Middlebury

Student discussing the finals of a beer pong tournament: Finals are lights off, candles on.

Girl talking to herself in Dining Hall: they’re out of granola? why do i even go here…..

Professor:  what do you guys normally do during the weekends? (silence) do you go out? (silence) do you get drunk?

Midd student: for a smart school we’re pretty unsmart

Conn College

One dude to another:  We’re guessing he’s a drug dealer, ’cause he’s moving to California and he just bought a lotus.

Conn student: how old was I when I was 12?

Bewildered guy in a long line outside dining hall: Oh, dude, ya know what probably happened? A bunch of people probably came to [the dining hall] at the same time.

Thursday night, in the pouring rain: like, I actually FEEL this water falling upon me

bro 1: wait, so you called her Brooke again and she just left?
bro 2: yeah, basically, and i was sober.
bro 3: what the f*ck is wrong with you?
bro 2: it wasn’t the first time that happened either.
bro 1: and Brooke is her best friend’s name

But remember, things aren’t always what they sound like…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s