Twas the first day of Spring and all through The ‘Cac
The squirrels were planning new means of attack
Knowing the students soon would return
With stories, new piercings, and some a sunburn.
A few would be mourning lost shakers of salt
Others their dignity under assault
Many would spend their spare minutes untagging
While obnoxious roommates of golf scores were bragging.
The quad would be teeming with robins and mud
Seeping into Sperry’s like thick tigerblood
The fashion forward trading ugly sweaters for seersucker
If the “nirt” catches on, well then all the luckier.
Tales of SB intercourse are well- fabricated
While sore athletes concur that time- off is overrated
The tea parties had by those who stayed home
Outlast outrageous fun had by partiers in Rome.
Some watched West Wing reruns and taught themselves guitar
Others slept all day or played DDR
Hid behind displays from old high school teachers
Twittered the NCAA finals from the bleachers.
Now brave souls return to homework while others just pretend
In heady anticipation of that first week’s end
Visions of Natty Ice dance in their heads
While wondering why anyone would pick the SEC instead.
Of course they’ll remember by Saturday brunch
That a fishbowl without Greek life can be quite a crunch
Those driven by that need for sexual healing
Spend Sunday getting in touch with their intellectual feeling.
We proclaim: At last grass! And not just the kind in a bong!
Break out the ukulele, let’s have us a song!
Write poetry with haste on your dining hall naps,
Speak verse to renewal you incorrigible saps!
Slip into a sundress and skip off with ease
Let your bleached hockey hair blow in the breeze
Don’t just watch Robin Williams proclaim “carpe diem,”
Grab your frisbees and your mitts( you’ve got balls so free them!)
On Polar Bears, on Mules, on Jumbos, on Ephs
on Bobcats, on Continentals, on Camels, Lord Jeffs
Cardinals, Bantams, Panthers, thou loud boisterous crowd,
Merry Springtime to all… now make The ‘Cac proud!