We remember when we made our first hotmail account (cuteplayonmynamexoxoOMG13@hotmail.com) Life was easier then; simpler. Instead of having to wade through Who’s Who invitations and reminders to make big-life-choices before impending big-life-choice deadlines we could sit back, relax, and read chain letters containing inspirational friendship quotes, dancing emoticons, and—of course—pictures of small animals doing funny things.
You can imagine our joy when we received JUST SUCH AN E-MAIL this morning. In honor of the weekend, we bring you “Rules for a Weekend In The ‘Cac” composed entirely of pictures from said chain e-mail.
Stay classy ‘Cac, stay classy.
RULES FOR BROS
#1. Don't rub your junk all over someone else's trunk, nobody in their right mind would believe that this Big Cat was only after a discrete scratch
Rule #2. That sock was on the door for a reason (we're looking at you Tufts!) Nobody wants this cockblocking squirrel at their wedding,so may the future best man turn a blind eye...
#3. With that said, don't leave your roommates to fend for themselves. If this doggy can't have a bone, at least throw him a pillow...
#4. Licking tile already and it's only 10:30...know your limits.
#5. Don't smell your roommate's gear after practice. But seriously dude, why would you ever do that.
#7. Take a good look at the helpless kitten. Now repeat after us, "I will not tag team the freshmen..."
#8. Make sure your cup is the right size before the big game. Hubris will do you no good...
#9. Despite a rather fancy toilet seat, lack of adequate bathroom tissue jeopardizes your ability to get laid.
#10. Last, but certainly not least, unless your name is Ben Contini or Nicholas Tierney (See All NESCAC Hockey Hair Team for details) make this face and it will be a very lonely night between your Power Rangers sheets.
RULES FOR BRAS
- #1. Yes, we understand that she did it first but Ke$ha does not have to answer to Campus Security
#2. Stop standing next to tall skinny friend in pictures. Rookie move
#3. Forget about reach nutz, reach nutz spell rejection. Safety nutz, on the other hand, reek of desperation. Go for those match nutz...
#4. Wear your panties.
#5. No orgies.
#6. No sloppy seconds. If some other chick's lipgloss is still around his mouth DEAL BREAKER.
#7. And last, but certainly not least, you can hold it until you get back to the dorm...pinky swear.