Jak Knelman pulls the old slapshot and sue


Dismiss this kid? ABSURD. Look at this hair…

Jak Knelman

Shout- out to NESCAC Hockey blog and their coverage of an emerging story.

Middlebury junior Jak Knelman is suing Middlebury College for violating NCAA policy after his dismissal from the hockey team in January. Knelman was berated and dismissed in front of his teammates, which he claims is a violation of NCAA coaching conduct– a standard that Middlebury should have enforced.

Here at The ‘Cac, we cannot help but side with Jak- wob.

First of all, his choice of DIII Middlebury College to further his career of being a Professional Hockey Player is certainly commendable. If given the talent, we certainly could not refuse the lusty allure of UMichigan.

Second of all, Coach Beaney was way out of line. We’ve seen those sporting movies, we know how it works. When a player screws up the coach takes them into the corner and they have a quiet chat about it. And then the player calmly suggests that the locker room upgrade to 3- ply tp because it is milder on his/ her bum.

And the coach agrees, and points to his lapel pin that says “It’s ok, we’re all winners!”

But Jak didn’t feel like a winner when he was dismissed from his team. He felt like an L- word. And we don’t use that type of language in the ‘Cac.

Parents take precedence over stupid formalities like alumni bruncheons. Who wants to eat cold salmon with a bunch of washed- up unsuccessful farts? Daddy is funding the whole hockey program, and alumni just pay one child’s tuition. Wait. crap.

 It’s ok Jak, you tried.

One thought on “Jak Knelman pulls the old slapshot and sue

  1. Pingback: Why the hamster ball was a lie: the Jak Knelman story |

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