Cover letter fails and celebrity humility

a Thought Catalogue writer posts 10 ridiculous lines from cover letters she has written. Here are our favorites:

March 28th, 2008; Position Unknown

“I have both a Facebook account with 626 friends, and a MySpace account with about 200 friends.”

May 23rd, 2008; Product Integrity Coordinator

“I am a quick learner and extremely internet savvy (I started posting on the Ty Beanie Babies message boards at seven years old).”

June 4th, 2008; House and Pet Sitter

“I love all animals and would respect them as well as your house.”


We were surprised to find out that her first post- grad job ended up being as a receptionist because–well– that house- sitter line is pretty solid. She loves ALL animals. Even the yucky ones! Termites, cockroaches, rodents, carpenter ants…

Between the sitter, the vermin, and the house there would be nothing but respect and little happy trails of sawdust and saliva. Now if that isn’t the plot for a Disney movie, what is?

As you write your cover letters, think about people you are trying to emulate and the jobs that they first held.

Applying to be a giant chicken? Highlight your Brad Pitt- esque qualities. Gap? Consider interrupting your interviewer with “Ima let you finish–”

Good luck.

P.S. There are ALWAYS video games to fall back on…


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