Sesame Street, a vast left wing conspiracy


When I was little my mom didn’t tell us that there were channels other than PBS. I can’t even begin to describe how much being force- fed literary knowledge via a Jack Russell Terrier infringed on my right to remain ignorant…

So I will be the first one to stand up and clap for Ben Shapiro for exposing Sesame Street for what it really is– a tool of Hollywood liberals used to brainwash little boys before they’re even old enough to ask for a Barbie Jeep, and little girls into thinking that body hair is probably ok (it’s not.)

Furthermore, liberals have overlooked the work of talented conservative producers (Shapiro cites the producer of Desperate Housewives for one.)

COMPLETE AND UTTER DISREGARD FOR GENDER PARADIGMS

Accusations against SS (that’s not fishy AT ALL) include that Ernie and Burt are a gay couple and that the show overemphasized conflict resolution in the wake of 9/11. Here are some other grave misdemeanors Shapiro might have overlooked:

1. Rubber ducky you’re the one, I got you at an Adult Store off Route 1…

2. That Puerto Rican family. I’m sorry, did they even have papers?

3. Ellen Degeneres (she’s a lesbian)

4. Elmo’s World. We all know that was a big drug fest. (lalalala lalalala he-ro-ine)

Well there you have it. The reason why our colleges are just rife with liberal thought like the scent of skunk in a lumberjack’s homemade vat of yeast. Shapiro went into the “heart of Hollywood” like he was Monroe Stahr and walked out with a brown bag of evidence in hand containing the hearts and minds of America’s youth– peaceful, gay, and able to count. Kudos to you, we probably would have just gotten autographs.

If only I had known about Nickelodeon– growing up with the Pickles family would have done wonders for my various Freudian vices.

WE ALL KNOW WHAT YOU WERE SNUFFLE-ING YOU DIRTY HIPPIE

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