Kmarko has stick envy


So in case you weren’t aware of my fervent dislike for kmarko per my last post—I have a fervent dislike for kmarko of BarStool U. When it comes to lacrosse he is as dense as Paula Deen’s arteries are clogged. Except instead of macaroni and cheese with homemade bread crumbs he’s full of lies his
parents told him about the “cool kids.”

“Son, popped colors lead to pregnancy.”

“Son, cut your hair, flow attracts lice.”

“Son, lacrosse is the devil’s work. It was invented by pagans.”

Pagans.

Anywayyy now kmarko has a new post out about New England’s favorite pastime, attached to this video:

“We give lax bros a lot of shit around here and rightfully so but I got to be honest.  That video was fucking awesome.  From the fat ass getting kicked out to the all-out brawl to the goalies squaring off to the post-massacre daps at the center line.  All topped off by a killer soundtrack.   You know these bros all changed into their Nantucket red shorts with lobsters and crabs on them afterwards then met up at the fat dude’s house to crush Sam Summers in coozies and talk about the sleeping slampig they Eiffel-towered the other night in Sig Chi’s basement too.   Short memories in the lax bro business.”–kmarko

His first mistake was to try and say anything about this video in the first place. There are no words for this video.

Secondly, KOOZIE IS SPELLED WITH A MOTHER TRUCKING “K.” (And my mom is a trucker, so I can say that.)

Maybe y’all just raw grip your pomegranate Mike’s Hard down at Emory but here in the ‘Cac we know our koozies AND our phonics.

Phonics.

As for that Eiffel Tower situation, come on bro we’re classier than that. WWSJD (What Would Sam Jakimo Do) Not a sleeping slampig that’s for sure…

2 thoughts on “Kmarko has stick envy

  1. Pingback: Shut up Jodie, we all know you got a B+ |

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