Tweets of the Week

Time to tickle your dick…

1. One of these activities could eventually kill you. hint: it doesn’t involve tobacco

2. After the third time I woke up screaming this my parents bought me a nightlight and a dehumidifier.

3. I actually don’t remember why I favorited this one. I guess it just rang true at the time…but right now I smell like dish soap and midlife crisis.

4. Wax Lebron’s armpits, transfer to Skidmore, wear lead teeth…

5.  The other 20% are transvestites.

6. Heard that’s a pretty fluid field

7. Really? I won MVP.

8. Clip both with the same clip. Bam. Done.

9. Sibling nicknames, suicide edition

10. I live in a small shack by a large pond. #exemption

11. Well if some of the guys are hot, then I would say yeah it is a sport.

12. “How’s the Ferrari…You mean you have more than one?!” #thingsIhearatwork

13. This is her back-up plan.

14. If you have to ask, probs just a plastic bag.

15. Didn’t look at the pic., assuming it’s his Go- Gurt fueled washboard abs.

16. It must be ya class cuz it ain’t ya face…

17. I wrote MINE on your dad.

18. Really, you’re not?

19. What would you prefer that we bob?

20. #beaks #tire NOW you have a flat…

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