NESCAC Nancy: on Ron Paul and owning your butterface


Just an average NARPrincess living in an ol’ boys world

The next election cycle is going to be a bust. There was literally no one on that stage that I would consider sleeping with and Andersen Cooper is looking more WASP- whipped than usual. Somebody get that man a raw egg and a gift card to Wafflehouse.

Halfway through I found myself wondering what flavor of chapstick Michelle Bachmann was wearing. What would it taste like in the event of a nuclear holocaust leaving only her, me, roaches, and a great sexual void?

At one point I thought Ron Paul was holding up a Viva La Stool sign but it was only a copy of the Constitution. #longhairdontcare

In all seriousness, I will vote for whoever is running on an “anti- moist” platform. I’d tonguepunch the chad of whoever bans that shit from Webster forever.

I don’t care if you’re Repubic or a GID: just freakin’ own it.  For example, I am a butterface. And you know what? I don’t need your charity, so you can take that Whole Foods bag and shove it back in your VV… tote.

I’ve got enough paper bags and condams to last me a nighttime out in my cah.

My reputation has been so hyped up around campus it’s actually redic. The last guy I hooked up with before my annual pre- finals cold sore set in brushed his nutz across my face and said in disbelief “I can’t believe it’s not butter.”

Guess what puck slut?

The ‘Cac is as expensive as a Thai ho with three tits, plastic surgery isn’t an option, and every properly disillusioned ‘Cac bro knows it’s “butt or face.” #lightsout #butt

I really wish I hadn’t already used that pic. of Michelle Bachmann.

Well g2g. Tila Tequila reruns with the gram- gramz. Here’s a moderately funny video…

Stay tuned for more “NESCAC Nancy” coming soon…

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