The Case for Bros:
–Cargo shorts. So unhip.
-Plastic sunglasses on the right. So chill, brah.
-Marginal knowledge of sports. At least enough to know why each player’s jersey is funny. (Latrell Sprewell choked his coach. Derrick Coleman did this. This is Muggsy Bogues (right). And Jason Kidd blew kisses to his wife before each free throw, and then she beat him.)
The Case for Hipsters:
-Sinatra hat. Comment dit-on “retro?”
-“Bicep” tattoo. Probably of Sisyphus. Deep, man.
-NBA jersey, but of a decidedly lesser player. Also, likely white. Rules out John Stockton. Karl Malone too. Powers of deduction leads me to believe: Jeff Hornacek.
-Disinterested mug. He’s above this.
(It’s an Eddy Curry jersey. He’s not on the Knicks anymore. That’s why it’s cool.)