An open letter to baseball: Be more exciting


Warning: if you normally like me, just stop reading now. I wrote this at 1 AM and it is neither good nor funny (except that J.D. Drew joke). File it under “writing for the sake of writing” and just forget about it.

At one point yesterday, the three ESPN channels I get were airing the Women’s World Cup, Wimbledon and the WNBA (also, English majors, did you know that Oxford dropped the Oxford comma? Sad day, I know). This, along with news of the NBA and NFL lockout, is proof that baseball is in need of a few rule changes. Some thoughts:

1) Move the pitchers’ mound in to 45 feet (Little League / softball distance). Nothing’s more fun than a line drive to the face! Skip to the 1:00 mark because who cares about the feel-good story?

2) Metal bats.

3) Steroids.

4) Shorten the season. Why do I have to watch 162 games? Also, why does my sister only buy me tickets to games when she knows Tim Wakefield’s pitching against the Kansas City Royals?

4) Cheerleaders.

5) Every stadium should abide by this rule. At Fenway, it’s called the J.D. Drew Special.

Wow. That was terrible. Blog GPA: 2.9. Look, we match.

3 thoughts on “An open letter to baseball: Be more exciting

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