Tweetzel and Gretel


If the letters I,R,E,E,N not necessarily in that order make you want to stick a fork in your eye you can just skip the Irene tweets. Don’t worry, I’m sure another natural disaster will soon efface this one’s bad jokes. IRENE, GET BACK IN THE DEPTHS OF RECENT HISTORY WITH EARTHQUAKE, WHERE YOU BELONG. And you two better not be having sex in there. The last thing we need is an earthacane.

Irene Tweets:

1. Or squirrel, or taxi, or cheese wheel…

2. Wait for it…

3. There it is

4. I…no.

5. You know, the Federalist style ones.

6. Wait, you guys were all…? During the storm? Wow, I guess I didn’t get the memo.

7. Well then you better unhit it right now mister.

8. One of these events did not become a twitter trend. #guess

9. Yes, good idea. On second thought, the entirety of the Gatorade rations might do.

10. I’m acting a fool in the gym by myself

Non-Irene Tweets:

1. I didn’t retweet. #childsplay

2. No! Please! Tell us more…

3. How does one acquire said invite?

4. This sets the bar high for #Cacproblems, please tweet accordingly

5. I think I speak for all of America when I say we’re just not ready

6. Even almost worse than a first world problem

7. I brush my teeth in the morning, that’s why I’m so svelte.

8. No you dumbasss, can’t you see the masks?

9. One, where you were eating. Two, you couldn’t work Emma Stone into this story somehow? #comeonnow

10. So guys, what is the 411? What has everyone been up to? What is the hot gossip? #yougirlskeepmeyoung

11. I can only think of one thing, and that is drunker nose hemorrhage

12. Ugly Americans

Hurricane Chloe:



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