Boo hoo


So you’re telling me that your dad is a corporate lawyer for Exxon Mobile aka “owns the world” and you don’t know not to wear Sperry’s with socks? You shouldn’t be suing Sperry’s, you should be going to therapy sessions with your dad for not imparting to you everything he learned in the Preppy Douche section of law school.

Do you think Curt Schilling complained when he got blood on his polo socks? Hell no! Will using words like “re-encompensated” make you a fratstar? I mean, maybe…

NO! Hell to the no.Both of these companies are probably 1,000 YouTube views away from pulling an Abercrombie and re-encompensating YOU not to wear their shit. And if you want to talk about “stolen memories,” sue Budweiser while you’re at it. Now I’m not trying to be rude, but you’re really dumb. Even if I was listening to one of those generic Microsoft voices and not your Southern accent I would know that you’re dumb, because the best way to meet people and network is to get yourself a pair of crutches, bite the bullet, and go make chicks feel sorry for you.

Also, yeah why are you eating your Ramen “noodle” dry? Next time buy the freaking McChickens and stay at home with your parents. Who love you.

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