Some Colby kids are in big doo-doo


Per the Portland Press Herald:

Police issued summonses to more than four dozen Colby College students at an off-campus party late Saturday, charging them with illegal possession of alcohol.

Police Chief Joseph Massey also said three students who rent the apartment at 16 Winter St., where the party was held, were arrested and charged with providing a place for minors to consume.

Allegedly, the trouble began when a Colby student was pulled over. What follows is speculation, but given the Waterville Police’s noted prejudice against Colby students, I’m confident in the following.

Officer: Son, do you know what I’m stoppin’ you for?

Colby student: Cuz I’m young and a Mule and my car’s for show, do I look like a mind reader? Sir, I don’t know. Am I under arrest or should I guess some more?

Officer: Well you was doin’ 55 in a 54.

The names and mugshots of the accused are available, but I’m not enough of a dick to post or link to them. I will say that, obviously, it seems the senior class stayed away. Also, surprisingly, the freshmen class is oddly absent from the list.

Rumors abound about all sorts of things not mentioned in the article. Those will only be posted if confirmed.

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