The whole lead-up to this article is soo melodramatic. The author thinks it’s breaking new ground to call higher education a bubble? Betch please, the ‘Cac is allllll bubble and always has been. If you’re going to continue running around the universe like chicken little, here are some ancient terms to acquaint yourself with: The Amherst Bubble, The Bates Bubble, The Bowdoin Bubble, The Colby Bubble, The Hamilton Bubble, The Middlebury Bubble, The Trinity Bubble, The Tufts Bubble, The Wesleyan Bubble, The Williams Bubble.
Because the only thing we in the ‘Cac like more than going to school in a bubble, is complaining about how we go to school in a bubble.
10 Ways to Know You Go To School In A Bubble
1. At any given time in the student center, the squared hypotenuse of the triangle between you, a person you’ve hooked up with, and a person they used to date is less than the sum of the square of the two sides
2. “Let’s just leave our laptops here and go to dinner”
3. That awkward moment at Target when you hand your Credit Card to the cashier instead of swiping it yourself #DiningHallHabits
4. That awkward moment at Starbucks when you try to pay with your Student ID
5. Oh, you went to school with my cousin’s first-year roommate at Yale!
6. “Mom, can you learn to cook falafel like my Professor makes it?”
7. “Congratulations on player of the week! The Dean will be out in 5 minutes to see you.”
8. Writing your senior thesis on the Nested Role of Social Planning in the Shoe Lace Manufacturing Boom of Poughkeepsie, NY During the 19th Century, Especially in Regards to Homoerotic Calling Card Insignia
9. I can’t graduate, I’m not ready for the housing downgrade
10. Oh…that was your roommate.
But in all honesty, I will always be able to use my NESCAC degree as fuel/toilet paper/food in the case of an apocalyptic higher education crash.
Which is why I should acquire more degrees at a faster rate, because I go to the bathroom a lot….