1. If you go to Bowdoin, you can compose a thoughtful Date Week personal ad. Here’s mine:
NARP seeking NARP with full head of hair and/or uniformly receding hairline. Ability to put leg over head and/or be indignant at inability to put leg over head preferred.
4. Send a tweet @NESCAC to thank them for being scandal-less. “Out of the national spotlight and loving it since 1971!”
5. Ask a sex question:
Transfer to Penn State Leave obnoxious messages on the FB walls of people you went to high school with that go to Penn State. Granted, you haven’t talked to them since graduation but “hahaha I saw your school in the news…” is a classless way to kill some time–if you’re into that sort of thing.
7. Make a dumb wish. Retract it. Make another dumb wish. Retract it. Repeat until 11:59. Wish for stricter gun control laws…and world peace.
8. 11 is a lot of things to do. And write about…take a nap.
9. This is getting tedious. Here’s some GWS humor:
10. Pick out an outfit for homecoming…no not that you wore that last weekend. You want something that says, “Hey, I think I have a pretty good chance with you, but in the rare case not–I’ll be home, coming to your FB page later tonight.”
hint: wear neon
11. Stop being so Generation Me and fly a goddamn flag. It was Veteran’s Day before it was 11/11/11.