I have a Moleskine® agenda/diary/thingy that I like to use when I want to feel like I have my life entirely together and am a functioning member of society (so, let’s be generous and say, on average, once a month). However, my usage of said agenda/dairy/thing goes up about ten fold around finals period, mostly because I find that if I make a list about things I have to do, I feel incredibly productive (even when I don’t do anything on the list). I can’t be the only one who finds solace in list-making, right? I mean, I know Santa likes to make lists (‘n check ’em twice! #omgggxmas), Schindler had a list, and Forbes keeps making very agreeable college ranking lists.
Anyway, in the spirit of procrastination that I think we’re all desperate for, I thought I’d share a couple of my past Molskine® to-do lists, and compare/contrast them with what I actually did that day.
- HIST reading: Hass, Takeyh, Finish pckt 2
- research!!!! also response paper(s?)
- Clean fridge out 😦
- *EMAIL Swoap re. Metabolism!!! <—!!!
- hooks from container store
- Phone case
- Shower, put on cute outfit, get big bottle of cold water, and organize desk so that I can be as productive as I can be this afternoon!
- Pick up history packet #2 and flip through all the readings I have not done. Pause at pages with pictures or diagrams to see if I can glean anything from the captions. I cannot. Also, Hass and Takeyh are pretty unfortunate last names. I wonder if they were ever teased as children…
- Consider possible career in counseling for children who have been bullied
- Google qualifications for said career; research in depth.
- After reading qualifications, quickly dismiss possibility of counseling career.
- Check Linkedin to make sure my resume is still up
- Check Facebook, Twitter, In The ‘Cac, Crammys, and 9gag.com just because, hey, I might as well go through my normal social media circuit
- Tweet something I think is absolutely hilarious
- Facebook chat with blame_me for 20 minutes
- Go back and read tweet, realize it is completely unfunny, and quickly delete
- Check Moleskine for to-do list progress. Cross out HIST reading.
- Google the topic for my research paper. Bookmark first five moderately academic looking links.
- Send a shifty glare over to my fridge, decide to clean tomorrow instead. Cross off to-do list.
- Check conditioner bottle and decide that I can definitely make it until break if I just shower every other day
- Cross more things off list even though I haven’t done them
- Facebook again. Nothing has happened. Just wanted to make sure.
- OMG SOMEONE TWEETED AT ME! *favorite* *reply* *retweet* #goodday
- Jot down notes re. my metabolism email in my to-do section for tomorrow. Why did I star that so many times? It’s not that important.
- Container Store online shopping for half an hour. Spends $90, only $7 of which are on hooks
- Online shop Forever21, make a killer cart for later
- Online shop Apple store. Drool.
- Online shop Amazon. Order book I will never read.
- Online shop Victoria’s Secret. Immediately feel fat.
- Put on workout clothes and vow to go to the gym
- Go to dinner instead, but feel accomplished because workout outfit is cute, and guy from my Bio of Sports and Exercise said hi to me while I was wearing it. Plus leggings make butt cheeks not jiggle so much.
- Shower. For the second time that day. Run out of conditioner.
- Facebook again. Someone liked my comment. Eh.
- Drop phone and put another ding in it’s case-less surface. Curse.
- Watch some South Park on Netflix to ease the pain of a chipped phone, and to rewind after such a long day
- Fall asleep and miss huge party I was super excited to go to. Fuck.
- bldng moving
- ruby-farmers market? mez.
- Clean fridge
- METAB EMAIL!!!!!!!!
- Wake up at noon.
- Try to figure out what the hell ‘Haarts’, ‘Steve’, ‘bldng moving’, and ‘ruby-farmers market? mez.’ means
- Cannot figure out what I had initially intended, cross off list any way.
- Facebook. Twitter. In the ‘Cac. Crammys. 9gag.com.
- Crack open refrigerator door. Quickly close. Cross off list.
- Text friends to see if I can use their fridge to keep my ginger ale cold. I can’t. I drink it any way.
- Glance at notes for this metabolism email I keep making look important. Cannot remember why it is important, maybe I just got excited when I wrote it. The notes seem fine, and it’s Sunday so my Prof probably won’t check until tomorrow. I’ll send it tomorrow.
- Check email. Spam, spam, spam. Check Facebook. GIRL FROM MY HIGH SCHOOL IS ENGAGED!
- Message/text everyone I know about it.
- Move detergent from shelf to hamper. Find 2 clean pairs of undies in my PJ drawer. Rejoice. Cross off laundry.
- Jump into the shower and re-remember I have no conditioner. Hair is impossible to brush and dries looking like a tumbleweed.
- Facebook. Talk with friends about how much homework we have for 45 minutes.
- Netflix a documentary about orphaned baby girls in China. Immediately fall asleep.
- Study for Bio final
- grocery store!
- METABOLISM EMAIL!!!!!!!!!!!! DO IT!*****
- Get out after a long and annoying day of classes. Treat myself to a glass of wine just because.
- Mope about how Williams does not have stress-relieving dogs during finals period
- Check Facebook
- Text man-friend to see if he’s around later. He is. Score.
- Take Bio textbook off of shelf for first time this semester. Marvel at the in-depth color diagrams.
- Marvel at the in-depth color diagrams for another hour or so.
- Find a Fiber One bar. Cross grocery store off list.
- Cross metabolism email off list. Whatever.
- Get a text about a party across campus, rush to get ready
- Jump in shower, realize I still have no conditioner, resolve to wear hair up tonight.
- Pick out outfit, realize I haven’t done laundry. Go commando.
- Drink! Drink! Drink!
- Man-friend says he is in library. Cry hysterically to all my friends and also to any strangers who might happen to be near me.
- Go home, write enormously long Crammys post about how partying at Williams sucks
- ….? did something? I’m sure I did, I just can’t remember what.
- Suddenly realize I’m watching the sun rise and I should go to bed.
Well, kids, I hope I’m not alone on this one, otherwise I’m going to look like a total moron, huh? Well I seem to be doing ok despite my absolute inability to finish anything I list.