ATTACK OF THE MEMES!


It’s finals week. You know what that means. Find any possible distraction to help avoid actually studying for finals. Most people resort to Hulu for a quick catchup on last week’s new episode of Community or maybe even a little Youtube action for some hilarious idiots who have even LESS of a life to have time to make up that crap.

I digress.

It happened last night. I was studying for my human neuropsychology exam when my mind started to wander (coincidentally, one of the topics I had to know for this morning’s exam… HAH) and my fingers found themselves typing “F-A-C-E-B-O-O-K” into the search browser.

My newsfeed popped up and a list of “similar posts” that all had to do with this one website appeared: quickmeme.com. Within this link was embedded “Hamilton Hypocrite” (see http://www.quickmeme.com/Hamilton-Hypocrite/?upcoming for all the amazing sarcasm, irony, and hypocrisy). All the posts were relatively intriguing, so I had to check it out. I clicked the link and up popped a couple of these “memes” (e.g., LOLcats).

Side note: for those of you who aren’t familiar with the term meme I am here to help since I learned all about them in my evolution and human behavior psych elective last semester! Defined as “the basic unit of culture transmission, or imitation” or “an element of culture that may be considered to be passed on by non-genetic means,” memes are essentially ideas that are transferred from one person to another (e.g., via the internet) and the evolve by imitation or mutation if we want to get biological. They are analogous to genes in that they “self-replicate, mutate, and respond to selective pressures” much like natural selection (THANKS M.J. FREDERICK, my ev psych professor, and WIKIPEDIA!).

So this morning I wake up and there are even more of these meme-related facebook posts. Last night when I spotted this absurd trend on facebook, there was a single page. That page grew to 6 pages. That was as of midnight last night.

I did some research and discovered that as of this morning at 11 am there are now 21 pages of these ridiculous meme creations. Goes to show you how much time Hamilton College students really have on their hands during finals… or maybe the lack-of?

I have also realized that these Hamilton-related meme creations are very insightful to the inner-workings of the culture here, and so I thought I’d share some of them here…

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All I can say is, the Hamilton community has quite a lot of time on their hands during finals week.

BE HEALTHY


This is an order!

Although we are all cracked out on zero sleep, just remember to try to drink some extra water (to balance out the amount of caffeine you’re ingesting), and to take some vitamins.

Or, you could always just eat some veggies.

om nom nom

Happy studying, y’all!

xoxxo,
Pandora

P.S. If you don’t quite feel like studying you can, of course, check out my twitter and my blog. But probably you should be studying.

Need a break?


Here is my contribution to all of your procrastination studying. Five videos to take your mind away from all of the stress of these coming weeks.

1) How to Succeed in Business with Hard work and Worldly Contributions

Good old fashioned logic and good old fashioned uninformed protesters #sheep

2) Public Speaking is, like, important?

Demigod.

3) Performing Arts

Dancing is the way into any T.A.’s heart.

4) What NESCAC students could accomplish with free time

Completelyimpressedville, USA. Population: Me

5) All of our Education has actually stifled our creative potential

I TOLD YOU I COULD BE A DANCER, MOM!

Good luck fellow hermits, time to crawl back into my shell of a study room and try to figure out why I decided to study Chinese in the first place.

Moleskine vs. Reality


I have a Moleskine® agenda/diary/thingy that I like to use when I want to feel like I have my life entirely together and am a functioning member of society (so, let’s be generous and say, on average, once a month). However, my usage of said agenda/dairy/thing goes up about ten fold around finals period, mostly because I find that if I make a list about things I have to do, I feel incredibly productive (even when I don’t do anything on the list). I can’t be the only one who finds solace in list-making, right? I mean, I know Santa likes to make lists (‘n check ’em twice! #omgggxmas),  Schindler had a list, and Forbes keeps making very agreeable college ranking lists.

On my Google-fueled prowl to find other people who made lists, I found this on answers.com. There is an 'improve' button, but I don't think it's necessary.

Anyway, in the spirit of procrastination that I think we’re all desperate for, I thought I’d share a couple of my past Molskine® to-do lists, and compare/contrast them with what I actually did that day.

12/3 Moleskine

  • HIST reading: Hass, Takeyh, Finish pckt 2
  • research!!!! also response paper(s?)
  • Clean fridge out 😦
  • conditioner?
  • *EMAIL Swoap re. Metabolism!!! <—!!!
  • hooks from container store
  • Phone case

12/3 Reality

  • Shower, put on cute outfit, get big bottle of cold water, and organize desk so that I can be as productive as I can be this afternoon!
  • Pick up history packet #2 and flip through all the readings I have not done. Pause at pages with pictures or diagrams to see if I can glean anything from the captions. I cannot. Also, Hass and Takeyh are pretty unfortunate last names. I wonder if they were ever teased as children…
  • Consider possible career in counseling for children who have been bullied
  • Google qualifications for said career; research in depth.
  • After reading qualifications, quickly dismiss possibility of counseling career.
  • Check Linkedin to make sure my resume is still up
  • Check Facebook, Twitter, In The ‘Cac, Crammys, and 9gag.com just because, hey, I might as well go through my normal social media circuit
  • Tweet something I think is absolutely hilarious
  • Facebook chat with blame_me for 20 minutes
  • Go back and read tweet, realize it is completely unfunny, and quickly delete
  • Check Moleskine for to-do list progress. Cross out HIST reading.
  • Google the topic for my research paper. Bookmark first five moderately academic looking links.
  • Send a shifty glare over to my fridge, decide to clean tomorrow instead. Cross off to-do list.
  • Check conditioner bottle and decide that I can definitely make it until break if I just shower every other day
  • Cross more things off list even though I haven’t done them
  • Facebook again. Nothing has happened. Just wanted to make sure.
  • OMG SOMEONE TWEETED AT ME! *favorite* *reply* *retweet* #goodday
  • Jot down notes re. my metabolism email in my to-do section for tomorrow. Why did I star that so many times? It’s not that important.
  • Container Store online shopping for half an hour. Spends $90, only $7 of which are on hooks
  • Online shop Forever21, make a killer cart for later
  • Online shop Apple store. Drool.
  • Online shop Amazon. Order book I will never read.
  • Online shop Victoria’s Secret. Immediately feel fat.
  • Put on workout clothes and vow to go to the gym
  • Go to dinner instead, but feel accomplished because workout outfit is cute, and guy from my Bio of Sports and Exercise said hi to me while I was wearing it. Plus leggings make butt cheeks not jiggle so much.
  • Shower. For the second time that day. Run out of conditioner.
  • Facebook again. Someone liked my comment. Eh.
  • Drop phone and put another ding in it’s case-less surface. Curse.
  • Watch some South Park on Netflix to ease the pain of a chipped phone, and to rewind after such a long day
  • Fall asleep and miss huge party I was super excited to go to. Fuck.

12/4 Moleskine

  • Haarts
  • Steve
  • bldng moving
  • ruby-farmers market? mez.
  • Clean fridge
  • METAB EMAIL!!!!!!!!
  • conditioner
  • laundry

12/4 Reality

  • Wake up at noon.
  • Try to figure out what the hell ‘Haarts’, ‘Steve’, ‘bldng moving’, and ‘ruby-farmers market? mez.’ means
  • Cannot figure out what I had initially intended, cross off list any way.
  • Facebook. Twitter. In the ‘Cac. Crammys. 9gag.com.
  • Crack open refrigerator door. Quickly close. Cross off list.
  • Text friends to see if I can use their fridge to keep my ginger ale cold. I can’t. I drink it any way.
  • Glance at notes for this metabolism email I keep making look important. Cannot remember why it is important, maybe I just got excited when I wrote it. The notes seem fine, and it’s Sunday so my Prof probably won’t check until tomorrow. I’ll send it tomorrow.
  • Check email. Spam, spam, spam. Check Facebook. GIRL FROM MY HIGH SCHOOL IS ENGAGED!
  • Message/text everyone I know about it.
  • Move detergent from shelf to hamper. Find 2 clean pairs of undies in my PJ drawer. Rejoice. Cross off laundry.
  • Jump into the shower and re-remember I have no conditioner. Hair is impossible to brush and dries looking like a tumbleweed.
  • Facebook. Talk with friends about how much homework we have for 45 minutes.
  • Netflix a documentary about orphaned baby girls in China. Immediately fall asleep.

12/6 Moleskine

  • Study for Bio final
  • grocery store!
  • METABOLISM EMAIL!!!!!!!!!!!! DO IT!*****
  • laundry

12/6 Reality

  • Get out after a long and annoying day of classes. Treat myself to a glass of wine just because.
  • Mope about how Williams does not have stress-relieving dogs during finals period
  • Check Facebook
  • Text man-friend to see if he’s around later. He is. Score.
  • Take Bio textbook off of shelf for first time this semester. Marvel at the in-depth color diagrams.
  • Smoke
  • Marvel at the in-depth color diagrams for another hour or so.
  • Find a Fiber One bar. Cross grocery store off list.
  • Cross metabolism email off list. Whatever.
  • Get a text about a party across campus, rush to get ready
  • Jump in shower, realize I still have no conditioner, resolve to wear hair up tonight.
  • Pick out outfit, realize I haven’t done laundry. Go commando.
  • Drink! Drink! Drink!
  • Man-friend says he is in library. Cry hysterically to all my friends and also to any strangers who might happen to be near me.
  • Go home, write enormously long Crammys post about how partying at Williams sucks
  • ….? did something? I’m sure I did, I just can’t remember what.
  • Suddenly realize I’m watching the sun rise and I should go to bed.

My Moleskine of lies.

Well, kids, I hope I’m not alone on this one, otherwise I’m going to look like a total moron, huh? Well I seem to be doing ok despite my absolute inability to finish anything I list.

Happy Studying,

Pandora

Christmas Jams pt. 2


Maybe it’s just the Reindog Parade, or the way overpriced wreaths at Stop and Shop, but I’m going to jump on the Holiday spirit train with blackinthecac and post a couple of my favorite Christmas songs/traditions/food/movies/crafts from Martha Stuart Living.

The Killers is one of my favorite bands of all time ever. Right up there with No Doubt and Spoon (I have an… eclectic taste in music). This Christmas-inspired tune always puts me in the best mood… The kind of mood where I could imagine myself actually getting excited when the forecast calls for several feet of unforgiving snow.

Disclaimer: I just watched the video to this for the first time ever, and it kind of baffled me, but Brandon Flowers is such a god damn panty-dropper.

Next up is a little jam that comes from the awesome disco-regge band Boney M. If you’re not-so-much feeling the snow/if you’re from Jamaica, then you’re going to really dig this, mahn.

 

I thought I’d break up my list of Christmas music with an easy-to-do microwavable recipe for this Christmas Classic: Peppermint Bark!

Delicious

I feel like you’d have to be a total moron to not be able to figure out how to make this sweet treat, but it would be stupid on my part to assume that some people who go to ‘cac schools aren’t morons (I know there are plenty out there, myself included). So. Here’s a moron-proof recipe:

  1. Get a dish (baking pan would be even better, but you could use a table for all I care) and line it with Wax Paper
  2. Microwave a bag of white chocolate chips (take them out of the bag first) for like 45 seconds, stir, then repeat until they are totally melted
  3. Put peppermint candy/candy canes/whatever candy you like in a bag and whack with your Bio textbook until crushed
  4. Spread melted chocolate on wax paper
  5. Sprinkle candy on top of said chocolate and let cool until hardened
  6. Break into pieces once cooled
  7. Eat your finals stress away!

If you want to  be super fancy, you can mix up the kind of chocolate you melt, but that is for really talented and experienced microwave chefs only.

Our next song is a duet with Ingrid Michaelson and Sarah Bareillis, and if you’re a truly ‘cac-y girl, you’re already flipping out and in love with it (indie singer-songwriter, much?). Listen to this eargasm:

Jews, I’m realizing all of my holiday traditions are very Christmas-y (makes sense since that’s what I celebrate), and I’m sorry if you feel left out… here’s a little something something for you:

 

Unfortunately, I don’t really have any good internet-sharable traditions or Martha Stuart Living crafts (and as far as movies are concerned, there’s only one Christmas movie that matters and that is, of course, Christmas Vacation), so my intro was a little misleading, and I think I’ve run out of good outside-of-the-box songs. SO I will leave you with a classic, sung by Will Forte as Natalie Portman from the movie Black Swan and Jane Krakowski dressed as former Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver and Pennsylvania gubernatorial nominee Lynn Swann (they’re two black swans!):

Can I get you a cup of coffee? Absinthe enema?

Happy Holidays… is what terrorists say. MERRY CHRISTMAS,
Pandora